Be the change you want to see...

I'm feeling so weak, so vulnerable, so mortal.

I submit. Please God, strengthen me.

Life is full of extreme ups and downs, Thank God for them.

Thank you, I'm holding out for that achievable dream. God Willing.

Can't do work at home!!!

Ever since I was a small kid, music has been my passion, my forté, my escape. I remember first picking up the violin when I was four. But even more than that, I remember how in my grandparents' place, my aunts, and even my dad sometimes, would crowd round the piano, and my Aunt Shila would play a tune, most probably by Sonny & Cher, or the Bee Gees, or the Carpenters, or Abba, and everyone would sing along. I also remember that I vowed that I would be able to play whatever song I wished.

20 odd years on, I think things haven't changed much with me. I still play the violin, I play some kind of pop piano(forgot everything classical that I've been taught), and I really enjoy playing the guitar. As some would testify, I also take great delight in figuring out how to play and sing songs.

"So why not be a musician?" many have asked, and to me it's like this: I don't want to be contracted to play every week at a certain time, at a certain place, the same set of songs, month in month out, year in year out. I live to share my passion for music, just because. I think what modest gains I have made through my music is good enough for me, my love for it doesn't have to be justified with money in my opinion.

It goes as far as to the point where certain periods of my life are exemplified by a certain song, certain emotions rooted in certain tunes. Many a times I think, the best gift my parents gave me outside of character/moral development was the gift of music. I don't think I could ever repay them enough for forcing me to practise several times a week, hours at a go, since I was a little boy.

One genre of music which I discovered I really loved is the old motown/rnb music. Think of people like.. Stevie Wonder, Lionel Richie, Dionne Warwick. All the songs which are standards which the American Idol judges definitely make the contestants sing at one point or another. Classics like 'Easy' by Lionel Richie, 'That's What Friends Are For', a great collaboration between Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Dionne Warwick, and so many songs by Stevie Wonder like 'Isn't She Lovely', 'I Just Called To Say I Love You'. One day, hopefully I can share the love for this genre with others, besides just sending them the mp3s.

The current song in my head, 'Misty' by Johnny Mathis. Heard it sung by Paul Ponnudorai at Harry's at Esplanade on a Saturday night recently.

Look at me,
I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree
And I feel like I'm clinging to a cloud
I can't understand,
I get misty, holding your hand.

Walk my way,
And a thousand violins begin to play
Or it might be the sound of your hello
That music I hear,
I get misty the moment you're near

You can say that you're leading me on
But it's just what I want you to do
Don't you realize how hopelessly I'm lost
That's why I'm following you.

On my own,
Would I wander through this wonderland alone
Never knowing my right foot from my left,
My hat from my glove,
I get misty, and too much in love.

I'm too misty, and too much in love

Things are so uncertain.

Project deadline is nearing, exams are nearing. Results of deliberations are unknown to me. Possible obstacles lie in the future.

Yet, I'm happy. :)

This is a short video of a Hari Raya(Eid Al Fitr) song, a popular Malay one, I shared with the rest at my open house.

Thanks to Nabeel for recording and uploading it!